Blog Archives

Kirby Sucks

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I noticed this marquee at a local office supply store advertising Kirby Vacuum Items, but apparently, they must not sell spelling dictionaries there.

But seeing the vacuum advertisement, misspelling and all, brought back some fond memories and some not-so-fond memories from back-in-the-day when I was a door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman. Oh, the stories I could tell you, the stories I can’t tell you, the stories I won’t tell you. The doors slammed in my face, the doors that were opened, and the doors I was thrown out of.

This reminded me of just how far I’ve come, how much I’ve accomplished, and from such a humble beginning too. My claim to fame, my greatest achievement; I used to be a door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman, but not Kirby.

Kirby sucks.

I’m an Electrolux man.

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Here’s Your Sign Award

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A truck driver couldn’t quite get stopped soon enough and took out the crossing-gate at my workplace the other day. Until a new crossing-arm is installed, the security guard decided to find a better way to stop the traffic. So, duh, he installed a better “STOP” sign.

With immense ingenuity and masterful use of duct-tape, this security guard delivered  the driver his own version of the “Here’s Your Sign Award.” Who needs Bill Engvall?

Obviously the old sign was just too hard to understand.

Oklahoma Redbud

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The freezing temperature and a lawn sprinkler left running overnight combined to create a spectacular sculpture on the edge of my side yard this morning.  The thermometer reading dipped down to 27 degrees early today in Guymon, Oklahoma, just as the morning sun crept over the tree line, illuminating icicles and flowers on my Oklahoma Redbud.

The Redbud is the State Tree of Oklahoma: Redbud Cercis canadensis. The Redbud grows in the valleys and ravines of Oklahoma. In early spring, its reddish-pink blossoms brighten the landscape throughout the State.

Far East Meets Southwest

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For the best in fine Asian Foods and Mexican Polka

Notice the cardboard sign reading Asian Foods in the windshield of the Lunch Wagon, and just in case you are not familiar with Spanish speech, Bum Bum is pronounced Boom Boom in English.

Other than that, I’m speechless.

Angel

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We finally put up our Christmas tree this week, much earlier than usual. Back in the day we may have put up our tree the weekend after Thanksgiving as many families do, but that has not happened at our house for about as long as my feeble memory can remember back. At least we do not have to stay up late on Christmas Eve this year to decorate our tree as we have a few times in the recent past.

After our tree is up, trimmed, decorated, and lighted, the final act of official tree putting up at our house is the placing of a Christmas Angel atop the tree. This family tradition of ours began over 30 years ago when my wife first took possession of her dearly departed grandmother’s Christmas Angel. Our oldest son was two or three at that time. At some point in the genealogy of our tradition, my wife and I gave up the honor of topping the tree ourselves and began to hold our son up so that he could place the Christmas Angel atop the tree.

A few years down the road, we had more babies and so we then had to begin a systematic rotation for the honor of placing the Angel, giving a turn to each child year-by-year, oldest through youngest and then over again. Each year in order to insure fairness I always have to review videos or photos of prior years to insure a strict adherence to the rotation.

At some point, we decided that the official Angel putter-upper also gets to be the official Angel taker-downer. As the children have grown up, other changes have taken place too. Child #1 went out of rotation when he was married and moved away from home, and he now presides over his own rotation. Another change that has been a little hard for me to get used to is that I do not need to hold the kids up anymore as they can all reach the top on their own now.

While looking through my photo archives to determine this year’s honoree, I put an Angel log together for the last 5 years:

  • Child #3 – December 24, 2006
  • Child #4 – December 19, 2007
  • Child #2 – December 23, 2008
  • Child #3 – December 24, 2009
  • Child #4 – December 12, 2010

I got a chuckle out of how early we had set up our tree this year, and how late the last few.

Wow! I may even be able to get a gift picked out for my wife before Christmas Eve at this rate.

In Stitches

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After the Pres took a shellacking on the basketball court this morning the American people may finally get some hope and change we can believe in. We can hope the stitches stay in for a while and thereby silence the TOTUS. That would certainly be a welcome change.

Here’s an idea: What uh-if-uh the-uh Teleprompter-uh Of The-uh United States (TOTUS) uh just let us uh-read his speeches-uh uh-ourselves?

I don’t really think the big O would go for my idea though, because then we’d all find out his secret to being such a-uh good uh-communicator.

Uh, oh well.