Nunsensations

Nunsensations: The Nunsense Vegas Revue by Dan Goggin

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The Nuns are back!!! Performing at the Guymon Community Theatre on March 1st, 2nd, 8th & 9th at 7:30, then Sunday the 3rd & 10th at 2pm. Yes, the little sisters of Hoboken are back, and they’re better than ever too.

When a parishioner volunteers to donate $10,000 to the Mt. Saint Helen’s School if the Nuns will perform in Las Vegas, Mother Superior is hesitant to accept. However, after being convinced by the other sisters that “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” Reverend Mother agrees. What follows is more nonsense, shtick, and feather-boas than any Nunsense show yet! Performing in “The Pump Room” at the Mystique Motor Lodge, the sisters experience “show-biz” like never before. You’ll meet Sin-City Sue, find out who’s Black and White with Her Money on Red, and try to win a new car with the “Holy Rollers” giant Wheel of Fortune. You’re sure to hit a jackpot with these crackpots.

I gave this show 5 Stars because – It Was Amazing! And pretty funny too.

The format of the show is familiar to anyone who has seen one or more of the five Nunsense shows before this one. The gags may be freshly written, but the act itself really hasn’t changed that much over these six shows. As usual, each nun has done an impressive job of portraying her character’s established quirky identity to a tee, and of course the entire cast remains quintessentially nunsense-ical. The jokes are all new, so you’re sure to enjoy the sisters’ antics regardless of the level of fandom you bring to the theater.

There’s no need to go all the way to Vegas to see a good vaudeville show with a little T & A. These little sisters of Hoboken have brought plenty of Talent and Attitude right here to Guymon, USA.

The Oklahoma Panhandle (Images of America)

The Oklahoma Panhandle by Sara Jane Richter

A complete pictorial history of the Oklahoma Panhandle, full of fun facts and “I didn’t know that” moments. Dr. Richter aptly states in one of the book’s many photo captions, “entertainment was, and sometimes still is, rather difficult to find. Obviously, Panhandlers can create their own fun.” So in the true Panhandle spirit, Sara Jane Richter has put together an informative and entertaining pictorial history of the “handle” of Oklahoma.

The Panhandle is Oklahoma’s best-kept secret and possesses a unique landscape, the highest point in Oklahoma. It bears a fascinating history and tenacious residents, from Folsom Man to contemporary cowboys. The Panhandle even once tried to become its own US territory. With photographs of the “Land That Time Forgot,” readers will discover tales of outlaws, college students, settlers, ranchers, native peoples, dust storms, immigrants, ghost towns, cattle, dinosaurs, lawmen, soldiers, and traders. The Panhandle has never been a mecca for settlement, but through the years, many heading for better days and other destinations have traveled across it. Mother Nature makes Panhandle residents work for their survival even today. She isn’t too free with her moisture but does like to hear the wind blow and see snow on the ground. “Panhandlers” pride themselves on their independence, resiliency, and friendliness. Once folks move in and get comfortable, they won’t be leaving soon.

Sara Jane Richter, PhD, has lived in the Oklahoma Panhandle and taught at Oklahoma Panhandle State University since 1985.

Golly! Shazam!

13 down, and more to go…

On Monday and Tuesday of this week, Oklahoma District 1 DA Mike Boring’s Task Force (DATF) arrested 13 suspects in the culmination of a 4-month long undercover drug investigation. The dirty baker’s-dozen were allegedly engaged in the sale and distribution of controlled dangerous substances, AKA selling and distributing marijuana, cocaine and prescription medications.

“Operation Surprise” began in the fall of last year with an undercover agent buying drugs. On Monday, arrest warrants were issued for 12 Texas County suspects. While making these 12 arrests, cops busted a lucky 13th suspect when he was found to have drugs in his possession.

THIS VIDEO IS LOUD!

Guymon’s Chief of Police Eddie Adamson is quoted in the local media as saying, “We are glad to get these drug dealers off the streets here in Guymon and intend for this operation to be only the first in many joint operations to attack the local trafficking of drugs to our population, especially the students in our city. Removing these drug dealers from the streets will make a dent in drug distribution in our area.” Authorities have also indicated that the investigation will be ongoing.

Congratulations to the 31 law enforcement officers from the AFT, the Cimarron, Harper, Texas and Beaver County Sheriff’s Offices, and the Guymon, Goodwell, Texhoma, Boise City and Keys Police Departments for a job well done!

I would have to believe that as these unlucky 13 begin spilling their guts, more arrests can be expected.

It’s a Wonderful Life

This weekend the Guymon Community Theatre is putting on the stage version of It’s a Wonderful Life by James Rodgers from the film by Frank Capra and story by Philip Van Doren Stern. I have always loved watching the movie version, and I watch it every year during the holidays. In fact, while the bell tolls during the intro to the movie I always begin to cry. That’s right. During the intro, even before the movie actually starts, I start to cry. I cannot help myself. There is just something about that movie from start to finish that tugs hard at my heartstrings.

I phoned in my reservations for tonight’s stage performance at Guymon Community Theatre in advance and was glad I had. I was surprised how many cars were in the downtown area, and had to park quite a ways away from the theatre. When we got inside, I could see why, as the show was nearly a sell out.

I first began to cry with George Bailey and Mary Hatch singing “Buffalo Gals” and dancing by the light of the moon. The best part of the show was the portrayal of George Bailey by veteran actor and friend, Tyler Puryear. Tyler brought his character to life in a way rarely accomplished on a live theatre stage. Sure, the show had its share of distractions with the usual array of live theatre gaffs. Like mics not working, phones not ringing on cue and lights going down before a scene is over. But I was still blubbering when I left the theatre two hours later.

Like most folks, I always think of Jimmy Stewart when I think of my favorite holiday story It’s a Wonderful Life, but from now on Tyler Puryear will come to the front of my mind. Tyler undoubtedly carried the day.

There are only two more showings, Saturday night and Sunday matinee. I highly recommend seeing this show.

Paradox

The little lady and I swung by Wally World the other evening to pick up a few groceries. As we began to drive out of the parking lot, I could hardly believe my eyes. Right there in the Walmart parking lot in Guymon Oklahoma was a riding lawnmower pulling a homemade travel trailer. This was an amazing sight, and not something you see every day, so I stopped to take a closer look. Noticing a teddy bear on the front bumper of the riding lawnmower, I mused if that might be road kill from driving too fast. The mower looked to be equipped with a CB radio, presumably to call ahead for speed traps. I was also amused to see the extra-large side mirror, which I guessed to be a street legal requirement for travel trailer towing.

I stepped out of my Suburban and took this picture, so I could confirm later on that I was not just dreaming again. It was then I heard the roar of a portable electric generator. Upon further inspection, I could see some guy was inside this tiny little homemade travel trailer watching television. I realized that behind the homemade travel trailer, was another trailer, a garden trailer with a portable generator on it.

By now, I am starting to get a little envious of this guy’s set up. I begin to wonder if he can technically be considered homeless or not.

Does his possession of a homemade travel trailer, by definition indicate that he has a home?

Who would intentionally live in this tiny little travel trailer pulled by a riding lawnmower, unless they were homeless?

This line of thought is a paradox for me. Perhaps referring to this contraption as a homeless-made travel trailer would more aptly describe this homeless man’s home.

I Voted

I was the 5th or 6th person to get into a line that had formed in front of City Hall in the dark just before 7:00 am Tuesday morning. With only a few minutes to go before the poll was to open, we could clearly see inside through the outer glass wall into the well-lit polling place. The three election workers scurried around in preparation for the day. One fellow wondered aloud about what time the workers must arrive to set everything up by 7:00, but none of us knew. It was quite chilly out and a little breezy. The scotch tape holding up the “Vote Here” sign on the front door came loose and the sign fell down. I walked over and taped it back up. Joking about the sign falling off, we all laughed. All Americans, all Oklahomans.

The doors opened to the polling place with only a minute to spare. Our precinct poll workers have been the very same three ladies for several election cycles now. One of the poll workers is the mother of Michael Brown who was the FEMA Director during Hurricane Katrina. Guymon is a small town, and so I am casually acquainted with all three of these women. It must have been a little hectic getting the poll set up this morning, as they seemed slightly harried, not quite as relaxed or talkative as usual, but still just as polite as can be.

After officially signing in with the first women, the second handed me my ballot and quickly greeted me by my first name before I moved off to an open poll enclosure to fill in my ballot. I completed my ballot, carefully fed it into the ballot box machine, and walked over to turn my ballot marker back in to the third.

“Thank you for voting,” Mrs. Brown said as she peeled an “I Voted” sticker off the roll, leaned forward, and handed it to me.

“You’re welcome,” I grinned as I proudly applied the “I Voted” sticker beside the company logo on my Polo shirt and began to walk away. Then pausing, I turned back to her and quietly added, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

I knew she got my meaning as she reclined slightly in her chair, looked up and with a calm confidence replied, “Neither would I.”

Tuesday was a long day for me, heading out early to the polls and then staying up late to watch the election results on TV that night. While not trilled with every single race across the entire country, the races in Oklahoma all turned out the way I had hoped, each and every one of them. These results made for a perfect ending to a long Election Day for this Oklahoma Panhandler.

I would not have missed it for the world.

Mary and Jari

Yesterday was a momentous day in Guymon Oklahoma. We got the attention of both gubernatorial candidates as they made a stop in Guymon with just one week to go before elections. Out here in the Panhandle of Oklahoma, we do not usually get too much attention from statewide candidates. So regardless of anyone’s political affiliation, I thought it was nice to have them both stop by for a visit.

I mean no disrespect by calling these women by their first names, but I am never quite certain how I should refer to them when introduced. “I’m very pleased to meet you, Madam Candidate.” “Nice to meet you, Mrs. er.. ah.. is it Mz?” “Your Honor?” “The pleasures all mine, Ma’am.” One candidate used to be the Lt. Governor and the other holds the office today, so maybe it’s “I am so pleased to meet you Lieutenant, a-ten-hut!” Probably not.

When introduced to men of importance, I feel less uncertainty, less hesitation. “My pleasure, Sir.” “Pleased to meet you Mr. …” There is just no guesswork in it for me when meeting guys.

Fortunately, one of these two outstanding candidates, who happen to both be women, is going to settle this confusion for me. Oklahomans will make history next week when we elect the first women governor of Oklahoma. When I greet one of them I know exactly what I’ll say, “I am very happy to meet you, Governor …, whoever you are.”

I did not get to greet Congresswomen Mary Fallin this trip, although I have been introduced to her in the past. She flew in to our small rural airport and took off again 45 minutes later. She only had a short meet and greet out at the airport. I thought about going out to greet her, but Lt. Governor Jari Askins stopped by my place of business about that same time, so I talked-turkey with her instead.

Actually, we did talk turkey, turkey hunting that is. Although a democrat and trailing in the polls, she supports gun ownership, turkey hunting, and she thinks state question 756 allowing Oklahoma residents to opt-out of federal health care will pass, and said it probably should. She also said she does not pay any attention to the polls. She did mention that MSNBC had contacted her earlier in the day to get a statement about something her opponent had said in a debate recently, but she offered me no details. Then when asked what the differences between her and her opponent were, without hesitation she quipped, “We’re pretty much the same, except my hair is shorter.”

You have to respect a candidate that will not allow the news media to drag them down into the mud along with them. It is certainly too bad that there has to be a loser in this gubernatorial race. These are two fine candidates, nice women, and good people. One thing is for sure though; the people of Oklahoma will not be losers. We will all be winners no matter the outcome next Tuesday, when we go to the polls and elect the first female governor of the fine State of Oklahoma.

Be part of history: Vote!

The Auditors

Being an accountant for many years, I have worked with a variety of auditors. Most have been eager to learn from me about the livestock industry, while a few have wanted to teach me a thing or two. At the company where I work, this week begins our annual auditing process. We will test, review, document and walk through almost every aspect of our accounting process between now and the time we release our annual financial reports early next year, and maybe even beyond.

“The Auditors,” as we fondly refer to them, came to town this week for their annual inventory observation. For you non-accounting types, “inventory observation” is when brand new auditors right out of college get to put their education to the test by counting stuff. At this company, that involves counting stuff in barns. So I always tell the auditors that when counting livestock, you count the number of hooves and then divide by 4, and if the result does not come out even, you round-up.

This year, however, the first big test for these new auditors was not counting; their big test was just getting here. If you have ever been to Guymon Oklahoma, then you know that the terrain is flat, there are no trees, and you can literally see for miles. If you get lost here, you will know it. “The Auditors” knew they had made a wrong turn. For those unfamiliar with accounting jargon, “wrong turn” is an auditor’s euphemism for “I’m lost.”

While lost somewhere on a dirt road in the Panhandle of Oklahoma, “The Auditors” drove over a big rock in the middle of the road and blew out a tire. I could not make this stuff up. Believe me.

Retelling of their mishap the Senior Auditor mentioned that there were five lug nuts on the tire, but only three holding the spare. I was sure that difference must be within the acceptable margin of error, but I kept it to myself thinking I might want to use that explanation myself later on in the week. Actually, the number of lug nuts had nothing to do with accounting or inventory observation at all. The reason the Senior Auditor was so keen on the lug nut count is that, as the lead auditor, her role was to hold the lug nuts while the guys changed the tire.

But really, switching left and right around could happen to anyone. Plus, it was actually the GPS that told “The Auditors” to make that mistaken turn. As they might say in the audit world, this “deficiency” goes to the GPS. So let me just add a little friendly advice for all those auditors who have ever gotten lost on their way to a field audit, or who ever turned around their left from right, do not trust the GPS, and…

The debits go by the window, the credits by the door.